Man In A Million Has Pride Of Place

Sydney Morning Herald

Saturday August 16, 2008

Peter Fitzsimmons pfitzsimmons@smh.com.au

THE best and most memorable moment of the Olympics so far? I thought it came during the stupendous opening ceremony, right at the end of the section in which seemingly 10,000 Chinese were in those pop-up boxes - though none of us was sure if they were computer driven or had humans inside. I loved the moment when, just before they all popped up, one bloke couldn't wait and came out a second before everyone else, looked around, and popped back down. Oh, the humanity! It was the imperfection that made the pearl. Hope he's OK, though, and his cards have not been marked.

Bitten by a Shark

Irishman Padraig Harrington won the US PGA last weekend, hanging tough against a surging Sergio Garcia, just as he had done against Greg Norman three weeks earlier to win the British Open. Asked afterwards how he had done it, he replied: "It's a bit like the Greg Norman story at Birkdale. It's a great story, but you can't let yourself get drawn into it. You've got to be very selfish in this situation when you're on the course. I had to convince myself not to get into this sentimental thing of, 'Maybe it's his turn, maybe he deserves it, maybe it's his day'." Bloody hell, if that ain't the final indignity! Greg Norman's fate: to be the inspiration for other men to pull off amazing victories in majors.

For a good cause

The year 12 students at Homebush Boys High have launched a program to help look after families in Uganda with HIV/AIDS. They have an authenticated, signed 2005 Wallabies jumper to sell to help them do so. Bid by ringing the school on 9764 3611 until Friday, August 28.

Go, David, go

Gotta love this city. David Hurwitz, known to his many friends as "DH7", is a fine young man with a mild intellectual disability. The 15-year-old has a passion for soccer and, as his older brother, Danny, is coach of the U-11s and U-12s Ku-ring-gai representative soccer teams, has been a constant presence at their trainings and games as their No. 1 supporter, key motivational speaker and main helper-outerer. For the past few months the running gag between David and the team has been for them to ask if he scored a goal in his own game for Lindfield FC U-16s the day before, and for him to reply, "I nearly scored ... but missed by this much", holding up his fingers a couple of centimetres apart. High hilarity all round. Those same kids, however, decided that it would be good to go and cheer for David too. So, last Saturday, 20 of them, plus their parents plus 15 first-graders from Lindfield FC, showed up to support David in his game against Asquith at Lindfield UTS. With such a cheer squad, David played his heart out even more than usual, as every touch raised a roar. No mucking around, it was a tense game, with the score locked at 2-2 in the second half as the minutes ebbed away. But wait, the ball is coming his way ...! A centre kick from Lindfield. A deflection back to David! Calm and quick, he draws his right foot back and then ... strikes like a COBRA! G - L! The cheers were heard in neighbouring suburbs. You can see David's celebrations on youtube.com/watch?v=iAyJwTx1mfo Gotta love this city.

Thawing of codes

I like it. While the elite levels of union and league continue to go at each other, there is a thawing at the lower levels. No better example beckons than when the Northern Suburbs Rugby Union Club and the North Sydney Rugby League Football Club played a double-header against their respective opponents at North Sydney Oval a fortnight ago. After winning their hard-fought match (37-24), the Shoremen stayed on the ground to form a tunnel for the Bears, who went on to lose 38-26.

Choice job indeed

A month and a bitty back, TFF ran a few pieces to the effect that the worst job in sport must be that of the "teaser stallion", whose task it is to arouse prize mares, hour after hour, day after day, year after year, without ever being allowed to do the business himself. This week a friend saw close-up the other end of the scale - the life of the prize stallion and his hold on the title of the "best job in sport". He visited the magnificent Arrowfield Stud at Scone, where a stallion by the name of Redoute's Choice has the following job description: he has his own stable building, while the other seven valuable stallions share a building. He has his own handler to wash him down, scratch his back, take him for a walk between sessions with, ahem, four different mares picked from the finest in Australia. Income - approximately $50,000,000 per southern hemisphere season, before he travels to Europe every year to do much the same. Not to forget that wherever he goes, there are, of course, an array of humble teaser stallions to do the foreplay for him.

Cliche-o-meter

Fitzphile Stephen Allan has noted the potential of new England captain Kevin Pietersen to send the TFF cliche-o-meter off the scale. Here's a quick burst: "Mooresy and I have come to sing off the same hymn sheet, which is a good start for us. It's time to draw a line under what's happened, and start again afresh. I think the recipe for success that I've tried to use is do it my way. Once you go over the white line, to express yourself, and do whatever you need to do to be successful."

WHAT THEY SAID

Brad Pitt, Australian champion boxer, on the other bloke: "I've always been Brad Pitt. Let him change his name."

Ninety-year-old Jack Rice after his granddaughter Stephanie won her first Olympic gold medal: "I think I got a kiss from every lady in the nursing home."

Channel Seven commentator and former jockey Simon Marshall during the equestrian events: "And that's two steps into the chook sheds."

Channel Seven commentator Daniel Kowalski, after the Americans' come-from-behind win in the 4x100 metres relay: "The French had it all to lose, and that's exactly what they did, the poor buggers."

A spokesperson for the Iranian National Olympic Committee on their swimmer being in the same heat as an Israeli: "Mohammad Alirezaei swims in lane one and the representative of the Zionist regime in lane seven, so they will not face each other." They didn't, the Iranian swimmer didn't turn up.

Penrith Panthers coach Matt Elliott after his old team, the Canberra Raiders, decimated his side 74-12. "We got our pants pulled down, bums spanked, and . . . whatever happens after that, occurred as well." Matt, we get the picture.

Mark Spitz after no one gave him a freebie to attend the Games: "I never got invited. I am going to sit there [anonymously] and watch Michael Phelps break my record? That's almost demeaning to me ... Yes, I am a bit upset about it."

David Gallop: "There have been numerous attempts to distract the game from the fundamental issue, which is that a contract is a binding commitment on the part of both the player and the club." That is not quite the view you took, David, when you were the Super League lawyer.

S

onny Bill Williams on being so angry in his Footy Show interview: "Of course I was. I am being vilified like I am a rapist, a criminal, a murderer . . . I've stuck up for what I believe is right and I am getting crucified like I am a mass murderer. Who wouldn't be angry?" He's right.

Georgia's Nino Salukvadze, who took bronze in the women's 10m air pistol, and then embraced on the podium silver medallist Natalia Paderina, a soldier in the Russian army. "We will always remain friends and nothing will come between our friendship. We live in the 21st century, after all, and we shouldn't stoop so low as to wage wars."

Breaststroker Brenton Rickard's mum, Collette, after finding empty seats in the "sold-out" Water Cube: "God, yes, it makes our blood boil. Some of the corporate people come in three-quarters of the way through an event, and we have got family members just desperate to get in there, and they're sitting outside."

Channel Seven's Sandy Roberts, who must have missed the world records dropping like flies: "That's an Olympic record - you can't do any better than that."

? Headline of the week: Did loose zips sink Schipps? (The Age, after Jessica Schipper was hampered in the 100m butterfly by a swimming costume malfunction.)

TEAM OF THE WEEK

The designer of the Australian team uniforms. At Lowes!

Stephanie Rice. Two individual Olympic gold medals to the good plus another in the relay, and so far her great celebrity seems to sit easily upon her.

Michael Phelps. The American has blitzed all before him in these Games so far. If he were a country, he would have been sixth, ahead of Australia, when he won gold No.6 yesterday.

Leisel Jones. Won the Olympic gold medal of redemption in the 100 metres breaststroke, after a silver in Sydney and bronze in Athens.

Libby Trickett. Won gold in the 100 butterfly.

Jordan Rankin. At 16 years and 238 days, played for the Gold Coast Titans on Monday and became the third-youngest debutant in the game's 100-year history.

Terry Campese. Too easy, Campese. He scored 36 points for the Raiders against a Panthers side as hapless as it was hopeless.

"DH7". See story.Rooty Hill Raptors Junior Rugby Club. They desperately need a scrum machine, and I know somewhere in the Cauliflower Ear Mafia, one of you bastards has one you don't need. Email me.

Prapawadee Jaroenrattanatarakoon. The Thai won gold in the 53kg weightlifting after changing her name last year. "A fortune teller told me if I changed my name I would go far."

John O'Brien. Plays his 350th senior game for the Penrith Emus today against the Manly Marlins, at Manly. He first played as a junior in 1966 and, at 53 still plays for the"thirsty thirds".

RIP Roy Prosser. 1942-2008. 220 games with Norths, 24 with NSW and 25 Tests for the Wallabies. One of the original hard men, and a very good man.

RIP Bob Cunis. 1941-2008. Played 20 cricket Tests for New Zealand. Oddly, his fame came from a line by John Arlott: "Cunis's bowling this morning has been rather like his surname ... neither one thing nor the other."

© 2008 Sydney Morning Herald

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